Oh hello, I am the ghost of Troubled Joe
Hung by his pretty white neck
Some 18 months ago
I traveled to a mystical time zone
And I missed my bed
And I soon came home

They said, "There's too much caffeine
In your bloodstream
And a lack of real spice in your life"
I said, "Leave me alone
Because I'm alright, dad
Surprised to still be on my own"

Oh, but don't mention love
I'd hate the strain of the pain again

A rush and a push and the land
That we stand on is ours
It has been before so it shall be again
And people who are uglier than you and I
They take what they need and just leave

Oh, but don't mention love
I'd hate the pain of the strain all over again

A rush and a push and the land
That we stand on is ours
It has been before so why can't it be now?
And people who are weaker than you or I
They take what they want from life

Oh, but don't mention love
No, no, don't mention love

A rush and a push and the land
That we stand on is ours
Your youth may be gone
But you're still a young man
So phone me, phone me
So phone me, phone me, phone me

Oh, I think I'm in love, oh, I think I'm in love
Oh, I think I'm in love, think I'm in love
I think I'm in love, oh

The lanes were silent
There was nothing, no one, nothing around for miles
I doused our friendly venture
With a hard-faced, three-word gesture

I started something, I forced you to a zone
And you were clearly never meant to go
Hair brushed and parted typical me, typical me, typical me
I started something and now I'm not too sure

I grabbed you by guilded beams
Uh, that's what tradition means
And I doused another venture with a gesture
That was absolutely vile

I started something, I forced you to a zone
And you were clearly never meant to go
Hair brushed and parted typical me, typical me, typical me
I started something and now I'm not too sure

I grabbed you by guilded beams
Uh, that's what tradition means
And now eighteen months' hard labor
Seems fair enough

I started something and I forced you to a zone
And you were clearly never meant to go
Hair brushed and parted typical me, typical me, typical me
I started something and now I'm not too sure

I started something, I started something
Typical me, typical me, typical me, typical me
Typical me, typical me, typical me
I started something and now I'm not too sure

Okay, Stephen? Do that again?

The death of a disco dancer
Well, it happens a lot 'round here
And if you think peace is a common goal
That goes to show how little you know

The death of a disco dancer
Well, I'd rather not get involved
I never talk to my neighbour
I'd rather not get involved

Love, peace and harmony?
Love, peace and harmony?
Oh, very nice, very nice, very nice, very nice
But maybe in the next world

Love, peace and harmony?
Love, peace and harmony?
Oh, very nice, very nice
Very nice, very nice, very nice
But maybe in the next world
Maybe in the next world
Maybe in the next world

Love, peace and harmony?
Love, peace and harmony?
Oh, very nice, very nice, very nice
Maybe in the next world
Maybe in the next world

The next world, the next world, oh

The death of a disco dancer
The death of a disco dancer
The death of a disco dancer

Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know, it's serious
Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know, it's really serious

There were times when I could
Have murdered her
But you know, I would hate
Anything to happen to her

No, I don't want to see her

Do you really think
She'll pull through
Do you really think
She'll pull through
Do ooh ooh ooh

Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know, it's serious
My, my, my, my, my, my baby, goodbye

There were times when I could
Have strangled her
But you know, I would hate
Anything to happen to her
Would you please
Let me see her

Do you really think
She'll pull through
Do you really think
She'll pull through
Do ooh ooh ooh
Let me whisper my last goodbyes
I know, it's serious

Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before
Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

Nothing's changed
I still love you, oh, I still love you
Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love

I was delayed, I was way-laid
An emergency stop
I smelt the last ten seconds of life
I crashed down on the crossbar
And the pain was enough to make a shy, bald, Buddhist reflect
And plan a mass murder
Who said I'd lied to her?

Oh, who said I'd lied because I never? I never
Who said I'd lied because I never?

I was detained, I was restrained
And broke my spleen and broke my knee
And then he really laced into me
Friday night in-out patients
Who said I'd lied to her?

Oh, who said I'd lied? Because I never, I never
Who said I'd lied? Because I never

And so I drank one
It became four
And when I fell on the floor
I drank more

Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before
Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

Nothing's changed
I still love you, oh, I still love you
Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love

Last night I dreamt
That somebody loved me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm

Last night I felt
Real arms around me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm

So, tell me how long
Before the last one?
And tell me how long
Before the right one?

The story is old, I know
But it goes on
The story is old, I know
But it goes on

It goes on
And on
It goes on

And on

I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
'Cause you're evil
And you lie
And if you should die
I may feel slightly sad
But I won't cry

Loved and lost
And some may say
When usually it's nothing
Surely you're happy
It should be this way
I say no, I'm gonna kill my dog
May the lines sag, the lines sag heavy and deep tonight

I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
'Cause you're evil
And you lie
And if you should die
I may feel slightly sad
But I won't cry

Loved and lost
And some may say
When usually it's nothing
Surely you're happy
It should be this way
I said no
And then I shot myself
So, drink, drink, drink
And be ill tonight

From the one you left behind
From the one you left behind
From the one you left behind
From the one you left behind
Behind
Behind
Behind
Behind
Behind
Behind
Oh, unhappy birthday
Behind
Behind
Behind

At the record company meeting
On their hands - a dead star
And oh, the plans they weave
And oh, the sickening greed

At the record company party
On their hands - a dead star
The sycophantic slags all say :
"I knew him first, and I knew him well"

Re-issue! Re-package! Re-package!
Re-evaluate the songs
Double-pack with a photograph
Extra track (and a tacky badge)

A-list, playlist
"Please them , please them !"
"Please them !"
(sadly, this was your life)

But you could have said no
If you'd wanted to
You could have said no
If you'd wanted to

BPI, MTV, BBC
"Please them ! Please then!"
(sadly this was your life)

But you could have said no
If you'd wanted to
You could have walked away
...Couldn't you?

I touched you at the soundcheck
You had no real way of knowing
In my heart I begged "Take me with you ...
I don't care where you're going..."

But to you I was faceless
I was fawning, I was boring
Just a child from those ugly new houses
Who could never begin to know

Who could never really know
Oh...

Best of! Most of!
Satiate the need
Slip them into different sleeves!
Buy both, and feel deceived

Climber - new entry, re-entry
World tour! ("media whore")
"Please the Press in Belgium!"
(This was your life...)

And when it fails to recoup ?
Well, maybe :
You just haven't earned it yet, baby

I walked a pace behind you at the soundcheck
You're just the same as I am
What makes most people feel happy
Leads us headlong into harm

So, in my bedroom in those 'ugly new houses'
I danced my legs down to the knees
But me and my 'true love'
Will never meet again...

At the record company meeting
On their hands - at last! - A dead star !
But they can never taint you in my eyes
No, they can never touch you now

No, they cannot hurt you, my darling
They cannot touch you now
But me and my 'true love'
Will never meet again

Oh Glenn
Don't come to the house tonight
Oh Glenn
Oh Glenn
Don't come to the house tonight
Oh Glenn
Because there's somebody here
Who really really loves you
Oh Glenn

Stay home
Be bored
(It's crap, I know)
Tonight

Oh Glenn
Oh Glenn
Don't come to the house tonight
Oh Glenn
Oh Glenn
Don't come to the house tonight
Because there's somebody here
Who'll take a hatchet to your ear
The frustration it renders me
Hateful, oh...

Oh, don't come to the house tonight
Oh, don't come to the house tonight
Because you'll slip on the
Trail of all my sad remains
That's why, that's why
Goodbye my love, goodbye my love
Goodbye my love, goodbye my love
Goodbye my love, goodbye my love

Belch

I won't share you, no
I won't share you
With the drive and ambition
The zeal I feel, this is my time

The note I wrote as she read
She said, "Has the perrier gone
Straight to my head
Or is life sick and cruel, instead?"

Yes
No, no, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no, no

I won't share you, no
I won't share you
With the drive and the dreams inside
This is my time

Life tends to come and go
That's okay as long as you know
Life tends to come and go
As long as you know
Know, know, know, know, know
Know, know, know, know

I won't share you, no
I won't share you
With the drive and the dreams inside
This is my time

I want the freedom and I want the guile
I want the freedom and the guile
Oh, life tends to come and go
As long as you know
Know, know, know, know
Know, know, know, know

I won't share you
I won't share you
I'll see you somewhere
I'll see you sometime, darling